The worst PR pitch I have ever seen...

I'm still debating whether this PR pitch is real: http://www.speakmediablog.com/2009/06/very-bad-pr-pitch-what-not-to-do-when.html. Speak Media Blog gives a good analysis below the posted pitch.

I searched around, and it appears that this Kevin Byrd character is real. And his website is awful. Not only do various page links pop up into new windows unnecessarily, but the run-ons are out of control in his bio.

It's a shame that good initiatives like Byrd's get overshadowed by one stupid publicist (I hope it's not more than one person, because if it's an entire team that put this together, his cause is really screwed).

But is that pitch genuine? Are skills in marcom progressively worsening that much? This pitch is the very reason that public relations professionals are not taken seriously in the corporate world. We will never hold a high place in a company so long as they give any fool the job.

For the obnoxious status updaters who really have nothing worth reading...

There's an art to writing on Facebook or Twitter really. Unless it's amusing or of good information for your followers, keep it to yourself.

Please note: If you attempt to use Facebook or Twitter to market your goods/services, make it entertaining. No one wants a straight "buy/use me" pitch. Those are as valuable as knowing that your friend is eating a sandwich. It's dull and easily skipped or forgotten.

USPS "summer sale"

According to my BtoB daily news alert, the Postal Service is extending it's discount offerings for bulk mail. While not an immediate savings (but a rebate on postage from mailings this summer), it ought to help the USPS gain back some of the lost revenue during this recession, especially from those too lazy or incompetent to file for the rebate on time.

But with the discount rules, it sucks to be a small company with limited funding for direct mailings. I guess the USPS would rather target the companies who definitely have the money to spend on bulk mail. So we can assume Bed Bath & Beyond will continue to supply us with store coupons while the little guys continue to fade out of existence. Thus is capitalism.

Some networking reminders

10e20, an internet marketing and web development company, has some good social networking tips on its blog. They're the basic, standard strategies, but I think a lot of people focus too much on knowing the bigwigs and forget to "meet the newcomers."

The good networkers know that every introduction has the potential to create a mutually beneficial relationship. Not everyone will be useful to you immediately if at all. But if they have a need, help them in the what-goes-around-comes-around, good-karma kinda way. You never know what family they have and friends they keep.

Starbucks, in an act of desperation

A lot of people have already touched on the Starbucks' campaign. It would have been more timely if I had posted last week when I first saw the Starbuck's Ideas in Action blog (thanks to Ms. Hulka!). Alas, I've been busy planning my move to a new apt.

Starbucks' new ads are just terrible. While its marketers' heads are in the right place, the actual tone and message of these ads is negative, desperate. It's understandable to promote the quality of your products and your contribution to society when cheaper chains are absorbing the recession business. But getting intensely defensive only reminds people that you're battling to reverse your haughty image.

This campaign isn't going to retain its customers (the ones at this point will probably never leave) or get back those who switched to cheaper coffees. It's lecturing to those who don't believe in its quality, and I feel like I'm being yelled at for not supporting Starbucks. The ad I saw in USAToday has short sentences and lots of interjections ("and," "but," "oh," etc.). It reminds me of arguing with someone who doesn't really have a point, but thinks that throwing every possible defense into the discussion will win me over. Five points in one ad is far too chaotic.

I also dislike the way Starbucks treats its value as if the world cannot carry on without a place to buy an overpriced latte, sit on a couch very much like my own at home with people that I won't be socializing with, and hear music I can get for free from the library. The entire campaign's case does nothing to change the mind of someone like me. It should focus solely on its contribution to my world, not my coffee shop. It needs a better strategy to change it's image and lure uncertain consumers.

I could go on all day, but to end this rant, here's a line from the blog post that I find tacky: "It’s not about what’s cheapest – it’s about what’s best – for them, their families, their communities and the world around them." While it's always best to assume everyone is stupid for clarity's sake, don't treat consumers like they're naive. Sometimes, luxuries need to be compromised for self-survival---even if you support Fair Trade coffee. Because coffee is coffee in a recession.

Overall, this ad only certifies that Starbucks is for the elite, not the rest of us budgeting to stay afloat.

Everyone should spend money on advertising--one sacred cow worth slaughtering

Not sure where to even begin criticizing this ad. I found it in an issue of Advertising Age. Maybe I will just make a list of everything I see wrong:

1. I realize there are some who still use the term "sacred cow," but is it wise to reference killing them? It seems insensitive to a religious practice and not necessary language for our global world.

2. Why are we referencing killing any animal or using the term "gory?" PETA will not like. Especially the image in the lower right corner of a beheaded moo-er.

3. Who is this ad for? The Gate Worldwide. Who are they? This ad tells me nothing. Clearly it is some type of communications company. To find out who The Gate Worldwide is, I had to google. Yeah. No website on the ad. Just some dude with his phone number. I was tempted to be a smart ass and call to ask him what he does, but I am trying to behave.

4. According to its website, The Gate Worldwide specializes in "advertising and corporate identity." Ummm this ad doesn't have any type of branding to identify this company. In fact, I would never have associated the company that did this ad with the company website I viewed. Give me at least a logo. Come on now. I trust that their services aren't stellar.

5. I take issue with a few of the practices that they think should be eliminated. Some that I believe should remain "sacred cows." For instance, "the customer is always right." Regardless of whether or not they are right, it's important for them to think they're being given the upper hand. Customer retention is necessary these days. But I guess this goes along with their belief that it's ok to offend people. [brace yourself for the sarcasm...] That's just good salesmanship.

6. I didn't even make it through the whole list of cows. I had to skim because it's too busy and cluttered. Who can be bothered? Just because you should continue spending money on advertising right now, please don't waste it on a full page of nonsense.

Lesson: Only money spent on good advertising is beneficial in this economy.

Should "PRWeek" become "PRMonth"?

Well this sucks: "PRWeek" to become monthly. Another sign of the times.

The site is also becoming subscription based. They'll lose even more readership once those without subscriptions can no longer read online for free. I wonder what frequent web advertisers will say to this. It's bad enough that PRWeek's print ad revenue is hurting, but now it'll be no surprise if some web traffic slows down and ad accounts dry up.

All of this is such a shame. The best time to read trade pubs is on the bus and train rides to/from work. I like having the whole page in front of me too, instead of just the little screen on my phone. There's something magical about the feel of paper to me.

Somedays I hate technology.

Earning links to your blog

Some good tips from seomoz.org: 21 Tips to Earn Links and Tweets to Your Blog Post. Quickly becomming one of my favorite sites to follow. It always has meat to its posts, not just the usual spew repackaged. Kudos to them.

Woe to the brazen meddler

Something odd happened to me this week. After sending in an ad for the souvenir dinner journal of a national association, the production department for this cheap little journal sent me a scanned copy of my ad. Marked up. With their suggested edits.

I'm sorry, come again?

One of the recommended edits included changing "paves a way" to "paves the way." No. Semantics are important. We do not want to be so bold as to suggest that our firm is providing the only way. There is a reason for the language chosen and it is not their place to judge that.

How excessively unprofessional. The only thing worse would be opening the ad in Illustrator, fixing it and printing it without permission. If it had been a blatant misspelling or other error, I would have been grateful that they brought it to my attention. But it's not their job to do so. Nor is it their job to take ads under a magnifying glass and critique them.

Stick to your job, I'll stick to mine, and maybe we can avoid these silly battles.

Good customer service is key in this economy

Times are tough. So why did two printing companies allow print jobs to slip through their fingers all due to bad customer service?

My firm had retained one printing company, The Marsid-M&M Group, for almost a year. The quality was good as was the customer service. If they made a mistake, they took care of it quickly and managed to keep us happy. Until last month.

Our department had a large print and mail fulfillment job that Marsid messed up at least three times---on top of a quote we approved that didn't include the postage. So when we received the invoice, we were flabbergasted. "Mail fulfillment" means mailing the items. So how were they going to quote mail fulfillment without the postage cost? If that charge is going to be separate, make it clear! There was absolutely no language suggesting that the postage wasn't included in the other costs.

After much argument, Marsid agreed to absorb part of the postage cost for their communication failure. It was our first and what I hope will be our worst mail fulfillment experience. We no longer use them for this service and are seeking new print companies altogether.

After doing some research, we found another company, DPI of Rochester Commercial Printing. Our first print job was successful, so we decided to get a quote for a reprint of our marketing materials. I sent an email to our DPI contact on Wednesday. This is where it gets absurdly unprofessional. When I called to leave a followup voicemail the next morning, I dialed his extension and got someone else's mailbox. The dude is also not listed in his companies directory.

So after speaking with the receptionist (who said that someone else had that mailbox before him and he must just "not know how to change it"), I left a voicemail anyway, making sure to clarify who the message was for. I waited til 2pm, gave up and called the other print company (the poor mail fulfillment services one). They were more than happy to do the $3600 job.

So Friday afternoon, the DPI sales rep called and sent an email. He said that he had been working remotely on Thursday and didn't have access to his email. And you didn't read my email on Wednesday? Or check your voicemail when you're working remotely? People in sales these days are fighting for business, and you wait 48 hours to get back to me? What an idiot.

If anyone knows any good print companies, please let me know. It's becoming painful dealing with vendors who clearly aren't concerned about retaining business.

Jameson NY subway ads...not their best

It appears that Jameson has lost its touch. I remember a couple of years ago when their subway ads had witty remarks:

- Maybe because "next round on me" is easier to understand than "stanclearclosindoor."

- Maybe people like Jameson because the ads give you something to stare at when you don't know where to look.

Relatable to the New Yorker and just plain funny. So imagine my disappointment when I saw a new series of ads designed similarly, but with boring, weak lines. So boring in fact, I can't remember any of them (and didn't think to write them in my phone at the time). All I remember is being severely annoyed that they must have used the economy as a reason to get rid of a good copywriter and hire someone who can't fill the void.

If you're going to keep the same campaign theme each year, make sure it's up to par with the initial roll out. Don't throw us a NY-targeted ad, and then get lazy and swap it for a generic approach.

Even the coolest promotional items can become discontinued

Every now and again (hopefully not too often), I will touch on some mistakes I've made. It's only fair that if I'm going to rip on others, I admit that I'm not oblivious to my own errors.

Early this year, my firm made a big transition to a new time and billing system. My manager and I decided immediately that our internal communications campaign should slowly educate firm members of the changes while making it fun and light. We toyed with lots of promotional items that we could use. Naturally, we settled on the Clock Rocker.

So over a couple of months, we developed the campaign calendar, email messages and posters. All had the Clock Rocker prominently displayed. We knew firm members would think it was silly and not care about the little dude til they saw him sitting on their desks the week before the switch.

It was a good plan. Was until we went to order the tchotchkes. They had been discontinued. We searched everywhere. With sunken hearts, we reluctantly ordered some of those rubber, photo-holding, stick figure things. They became the Clock Rocker's roadies.

I think I'm mostly disappointed at our lack of foresight. The firm actually loved their roadies and they in no way hindered the campaign, but I prefer following through on plans. Lesson: DON'T WAIT. You never know when something as simple as purchasing a promotional item will be impossible. We should have ordered immediately to complete what should have been the easiest part of the campaign. Better planning next time.

Marketing vs. Management

Here's Seth Brown's review of War in the Boardroom by Al and Laura Ries.

It's hard to see through marketing plans when management is generally set in its ways. Creativity gets wasted everyday when company decision makers either drag their feet on approving a campaign or flat out deny its possibilities.

This book suggests that marketing professionals start talking like "left-brainers" to management. I'll have to pick it up. Because as of now, it's easier for marketers to give advisement and then throw up their hands saying (to quote my boss), "I have no equity in the firm." We cannot be successful without proper approval and financing, and can only care so much about a firm that won't help itself.

Maybe this book will teach effective ways to approach management and, thus, be able to do our jobs.

White paper design tips

I had my first exposure to designing a white paper for my firm today. From googling, I saw that most white papers just look like a word document. Most were excessively bland and barely had any differentiations with regard to the font and spacing of titles and copy. I knew I wanted to make ours better.

The Top 6 White Paper Design Mistakes by Roger C. Parker mentions some obvious suggestions. Parker's list is helpful with setting out the list of rules to abide by. I completely agree with his tip to "avoid overusing color." This isn't a newsletter. You want to grab attention without letting the reader be absorbed by the design. A white paper should be appealing without taking away from the content.

I wanted to jazz up my firm's white paper by using dark blue for the titles, the logo in the corners of the pages, and pull-out quotes supported by dark blue lines. I also added a grayscale image for the cover. My manager agrees this is a good start. It follows our branding and stays clean. I'm sure it will be adjusted throughout the week.

Recovery logos disappoint

I cut out an article from Monday's USA Today about the new logos to support programs financed by the Recovery and Reinvestment Act. I agree with Alan Siegel's (CEO of Siegel + Gale) judgement of the logos. They are pretty useless pieces of work (see Exhibit A below).

The recovery.gov logo and what it's supposed to represent is far too indepth. There's a reason only state seals look so complicated. They were created long ago when people spoke slower and didn't have multiple things vying for their attention. We're a little faster these days and don't have time to delve into all the details. So please tell me we aren't expected to get the entire message from that.

As for TIGER, is it really creative to just use orange and black stripes for "TIGER" while completely losing the website in the teeny font below? It's ineffective. As Siegel said, "This is Amateurville." Amen sir.

Use caution with package redesign

I'm sure be now people have either seen the redesigned Tropicana packaging or read about its failure. In Tropicana's attempt to give its carton a generic feel, they've lost consumers in the design confusion. If nothing (not even the font) stays the same in the design, how are shoppers to identify your brand? The only thing that stayed the same was the shape of the carton...which is not different than any other juice carton.

Brandweek had a good, brief article about how General Mills, on the other hand, did it right. By redesigning cereal boxes like Trix to look like packaging from decades ago, it wins in two ways. First, while today's cereal boxes are incredibly colorful and visually stimulating, both generations of boxes have the same general look and feel: red box, white "Trix" in an arch, white rabbit. Second, the older box resonates with older generations and gives the generic feel without cheapening the design.

With the drive during the recession to make items look generic to compete with less-costly products, it's important that professionals strategize wisely to avoid alienating their current consumers. People don't buy more expensive products if they don't recognize or feel a connection to them; it's common sense. If you feel the need to rebrand entirely, pace yourself or you can lose even your most loyal customers.

Ernst & Young's rebranding concept not its best

There's something that's been bothering me for quite some time. Almost a year ago, Ernst & Young did some major rebranding.

Now before I start the bashing, I do have to point out that Ernst & Young's new design is pretty sleak. All printed materials have a yellow beam that draws the eye into the rest of the piece. While I think the use of only yellow in everything might get old (not too mention hard to be creative with so little wiggle room), I appreciate their demand to be recognized. That's the principle behind branding after all.

My concern: their message. "Achieving potential." Marinate on that for a minute. If you're still not getting what I'm hinting at, check out the below definitions.

- achieve: to get or attain by effort; gain; obtain

- potential: a latent excellence or ability that may or may not be developed

So Ernst & Young is working to obtain an ability that may or may not be developed? Really? A global firm is working on getting potential, not success, for themselves and their clients? This is the problem with most people in marcom today. They pick a phrase that for whatever reason rings heavenly music in their ears, but then never stop to think about the actual meanings of the words. I can't imagine they proceeded with this message knowing the correct connotations.

Enough already. My point is, think in all directions. Examine every possible angle before you pitch something that makes it clear you haven't achieved potential either.

Increasing Blog Traffic

This article seems pretty thorough: 21 Tactics to Increase Blog Traffic. While it's aimed at corporate blogs, I'm finding plenty of tips for MarCommon Sense.

I think this could take me all day to analyze each step for applicability, but I need to start somewhere. I'll report the results of some of these steps in later posts.

Hold on a sec...whose ad is that?

My boss showed me an interesting ad today that was a good half page in the Wall Street Journal. She held it up a few feet away and asked me whose ad I thought it was. Below is a poor scan of the horrific ad. Apparently, it's not for TD Ameritrade.

If you squint while holding the paper a few inches from your face, you'll notice the tiny Nationwide logo. Keep in mind this is a half page ad. And I was instructed to figure out who placed it. But the general reader is more likely to pick up on the green, box shapes; assume it's for TD or another company; and keep it movin. NOT GOOD. Readers should recognize your brand immediately, not someone else's brand in your ad.

Don't even get me started on the fact that my first comment, after seeing the Nationwide logo, was "wait...that's Nationwide's logo?"

I'm obsessed with logos. I think they're one of the best things next to the alphabet. I can tell the difference between the Pepsi, Obama and Korean Air logos. They're not something I'm keen to breeze by or forget. So when a company logo like Nationwide goes beneath my radar, something's amiss.

Nationwide needs to focus on its brand awareness. I should associate the blue box with Nationwide. And they need to avoid heavily recognizable designs that are already used. That's not to say they can't have nice, green backgrounds--but they need to ensure the logo is promptly displayed to avoid false recognition.

Do Guinness marketers go to bars?

I often wonder why Guinness never markets to women. I know I'm the rare female drinker who prefers Guinness to, say Miller Lite, but I can't help but notice that most women only drink the beers marketed to them. Women are associated with lighter beers so often that generally, when I ask for a Sam Adams, I'm handed a Sam Light.

I'm not sure if their "fewer calories" campaign was to attract health nuts or a weak attempt at relating to the female population. While it's understandable to stick with their same slogans, they should consider striving to relate to women. They already have the men in their pockets and I think they need to think strategically about the profits of getting more female consumers.

Which leads me back to my question. Do Guinness marketers go to bars? If so, they would notice what I have. Whenever a guy offers to buy a girl a drink, and she picks something stronger than his initial drink, he will always upgrade--because he's a "big, tough man." I can honestly say that it is my favorite game to play in a bar. If a guy offers to buy me a beverage, and he's drinking a Bud Light and I've been drinking Killians, I'll still switch to Guinness just to test my theory. And two Guinnesses almost always get ordered...

I think it's time for Guinness to get hip with the modern bar scene and turn a bigger profit. And maybe hire me (is it true that breweries give free beer to employees?).

Welcome

Welcome to the MarCommon Sense blog. Too often, I get a good laugh out of the poor marcom strategies people use. Or maybe it's just that they don't actually have a strategy. Either way, most of the problems I've seen can be corrected with just a little common sense.

This blog will be my outlet to vent and offer solutions. It's a guide for anyone from the small business owner to marcom professionals seeking to enhance their knowledge and cultivate their own ideas. I also intend to use it as my own personal anthology of smart tips and ideas that I've seen---a knowledge source for my own career.

When I first mentioned my idea to start a blog about my various marcom ideas, my friends told me I was crazy for putting them out there for people to take. But since giants like General Mills and Google aren't banging down my door to pay me money, I may as well find another outlet for my thoughts.

Brand new to blogging, I had to do some research. These tips seem pretty standard. No better way to learn that to just roll up my sleeves and do.