The worst PR pitch I have ever seen...

I'm still debating whether this PR pitch is real: http://www.speakmediablog.com/2009/06/very-bad-pr-pitch-what-not-to-do-when.html. Speak Media Blog gives a good analysis below the posted pitch.

I searched around, and it appears that this Kevin Byrd character is real. And his website is awful. Not only do various page links pop up into new windows unnecessarily, but the run-ons are out of control in his bio.

It's a shame that good initiatives like Byrd's get overshadowed by one stupid publicist (I hope it's not more than one person, because if it's an entire team that put this together, his cause is really screwed).

But is that pitch genuine? Are skills in marcom progressively worsening that much? This pitch is the very reason that public relations professionals are not taken seriously in the corporate world. We will never hold a high place in a company so long as they give any fool the job.

For the obnoxious status updaters who really have nothing worth reading...

There's an art to writing on Facebook or Twitter really. Unless it's amusing or of good information for your followers, keep it to yourself.

Please note: If you attempt to use Facebook or Twitter to market your goods/services, make it entertaining. No one wants a straight "buy/use me" pitch. Those are as valuable as knowing that your friend is eating a sandwich. It's dull and easily skipped or forgotten.

USPS "summer sale"

According to my BtoB daily news alert, the Postal Service is extending it's discount offerings for bulk mail. While not an immediate savings (but a rebate on postage from mailings this summer), it ought to help the USPS gain back some of the lost revenue during this recession, especially from those too lazy or incompetent to file for the rebate on time.

But with the discount rules, it sucks to be a small company with limited funding for direct mailings. I guess the USPS would rather target the companies who definitely have the money to spend on bulk mail. So we can assume Bed Bath & Beyond will continue to supply us with store coupons while the little guys continue to fade out of existence. Thus is capitalism.

Some networking reminders

10e20, an internet marketing and web development company, has some good social networking tips on its blog. They're the basic, standard strategies, but I think a lot of people focus too much on knowing the bigwigs and forget to "meet the newcomers."

The good networkers know that every introduction has the potential to create a mutually beneficial relationship. Not everyone will be useful to you immediately if at all. But if they have a need, help them in the what-goes-around-comes-around, good-karma kinda way. You never know what family they have and friends they keep.

Starbucks, in an act of desperation

A lot of people have already touched on the Starbucks' campaign. It would have been more timely if I had posted last week when I first saw the Starbuck's Ideas in Action blog (thanks to Ms. Hulka!). Alas, I've been busy planning my move to a new apt.

Starbucks' new ads are just terrible. While its marketers' heads are in the right place, the actual tone and message of these ads is negative, desperate. It's understandable to promote the quality of your products and your contribution to society when cheaper chains are absorbing the recession business. But getting intensely defensive only reminds people that you're battling to reverse your haughty image.

This campaign isn't going to retain its customers (the ones at this point will probably never leave) or get back those who switched to cheaper coffees. It's lecturing to those who don't believe in its quality, and I feel like I'm being yelled at for not supporting Starbucks. The ad I saw in USAToday has short sentences and lots of interjections ("and," "but," "oh," etc.). It reminds me of arguing with someone who doesn't really have a point, but thinks that throwing every possible defense into the discussion will win me over. Five points in one ad is far too chaotic.

I also dislike the way Starbucks treats its value as if the world cannot carry on without a place to buy an overpriced latte, sit on a couch very much like my own at home with people that I won't be socializing with, and hear music I can get for free from the library. The entire campaign's case does nothing to change the mind of someone like me. It should focus solely on its contribution to my world, not my coffee shop. It needs a better strategy to change it's image and lure uncertain consumers.

I could go on all day, but to end this rant, here's a line from the blog post that I find tacky: "It’s not about what’s cheapest – it’s about what’s best – for them, their families, their communities and the world around them." While it's always best to assume everyone is stupid for clarity's sake, don't treat consumers like they're naive. Sometimes, luxuries need to be compromised for self-survival---even if you support Fair Trade coffee. Because coffee is coffee in a recession.

Overall, this ad only certifies that Starbucks is for the elite, not the rest of us budgeting to stay afloat.

Everyone should spend money on advertising--one sacred cow worth slaughtering

Not sure where to even begin criticizing this ad. I found it in an issue of Advertising Age. Maybe I will just make a list of everything I see wrong:

1. I realize there are some who still use the term "sacred cow," but is it wise to reference killing them? It seems insensitive to a religious practice and not necessary language for our global world.

2. Why are we referencing killing any animal or using the term "gory?" PETA will not like. Especially the image in the lower right corner of a beheaded moo-er.

3. Who is this ad for? The Gate Worldwide. Who are they? This ad tells me nothing. Clearly it is some type of communications company. To find out who The Gate Worldwide is, I had to google. Yeah. No website on the ad. Just some dude with his phone number. I was tempted to be a smart ass and call to ask him what he does, but I am trying to behave.

4. According to its website, The Gate Worldwide specializes in "advertising and corporate identity." Ummm this ad doesn't have any type of branding to identify this company. In fact, I would never have associated the company that did this ad with the company website I viewed. Give me at least a logo. Come on now. I trust that their services aren't stellar.

5. I take issue with a few of the practices that they think should be eliminated. Some that I believe should remain "sacred cows." For instance, "the customer is always right." Regardless of whether or not they are right, it's important for them to think they're being given the upper hand. Customer retention is necessary these days. But I guess this goes along with their belief that it's ok to offend people. [brace yourself for the sarcasm...] That's just good salesmanship.

6. I didn't even make it through the whole list of cows. I had to skim because it's too busy and cluttered. Who can be bothered? Just because you should continue spending money on advertising right now, please don't waste it on a full page of nonsense.

Lesson: Only money spent on good advertising is beneficial in this economy.

Should "PRWeek" become "PRMonth"?

Well this sucks: "PRWeek" to become monthly. Another sign of the times.

The site is also becoming subscription based. They'll lose even more readership once those without subscriptions can no longer read online for free. I wonder what frequent web advertisers will say to this. It's bad enough that PRWeek's print ad revenue is hurting, but now it'll be no surprise if some web traffic slows down and ad accounts dry up.

All of this is such a shame. The best time to read trade pubs is on the bus and train rides to/from work. I like having the whole page in front of me too, instead of just the little screen on my phone. There's something magical about the feel of paper to me.

Somedays I hate technology.